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Deja Vu. Maybe I should go out, what is there to lose? I grabbed my old puma's from the shelf and went downstairs to scrub them up. I didn't really have a pair of shoes to go with.I grabbed back my cell, 1 new message from Joyzz. Alright now what? "Just come along, we're bored".Let me give you a little side-info, about Joyce. I met her at school. She, apperantly, was in my class.July was in that class as well but soon changed school. I knew her pretty well. She was the kinda girlyou wouldn't have to tell alot of bad stuff just for jokes. Her self esteem was very low. Remarkably,she covered it up by doing crazy stuff and acting hyperactive, not my problem, unless she was around you.July never seemed the hyperactive type, more calm. But if you stir it up, she will join the action.So both of them act pretty stupid and childish in public. That's why I wasn't so positive about going to the lake.I sent a message, "Alright, I'll be at your place in 40 mins". Not a second later she replied:. Yeah, YOU! What the hell did you think would happen when you consistently planned your private quiet time so that you could log onto a chat site? Did you think you were safe hiding behind a keyboard? That your fears and unhappiness and emotions wouldn't be sitting there with you? That you would simply confess your desires to strangers and remain detached? Granted, there are some out there who can heartlessly pretend to be involved and caring. But not you. You put on a good act of being aloof and distant but in the end even you have to admit they got to you. Not all of them. But a few. Especially the one. To the one you gave all. Every desire, every fantasy, every painful truth about yourself. You shared what only someone who cared would do. Even private details about how unhappy you are with your life. Your loneliness. Your home life. Your work. Your many nights of unbearable sadness. Always there. Listening to your every word, promising to be there for you, responding every time.
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